Thirst to Live
by Offin
Summary: One's will to live was not something that could be easily recovered once taken away. Conrart knew this best. Conrart x Yuuri ConYuu / YuuCon KKM


_He was out of breath._

 _The rise and fall of his chest was uneven as he panted- jolts of pleasure shot through him with every thrust._

 _He was so close._

 _"Conrad- ah.." He could hear Yuuri's voice above him- but his eyes simply didn't want to open._

 _"Conrad! Ah, god.."_

* * *

He was out of breath.

The rise and fall of his chest was uneven- bolts of pain shot through him with every intake of scorched air.

He was dying.

Laying in the middle of a valley of broken corpses- looking up at the soot-blackened sky- the second prince of Shinmakoku was breathing his final breaths.

If he had to guess how many were left from his division- he'd say it'd be a miracle if 10 were still alive and in good enough condition to stand.

The field they laid on was nothing more than a sea of crumpled bodies. Vultures had already begun circling overhead.

There had been 30,000 enemy troops against his division of 4,000- that was nearly 8 to 1 odds.

However.. despite the overwhelming odds- they had finally.. _finally_ felt equal. If only just this once.. their heritage- their mixed blood- had meant nothing. All of their blood was red- all their screams the same.

He wasn't a poet- but the thought put him at ease.

It was all they had wanted.

 _"Conrart.."_

He could feel his life slipping away with every beat of his heart- as thick, hot blood trickled onto the ground beneath him.

His side had been gutted.. the enemy leader had torn through his external and internal abdominal oblique muscles- right into soft tissue. It was his largest- but not his only injury.

He knew his kidney and intestines were probably damaged- the pain was so intense it was numbing- it blocked out all other senses as his hearing became nothing more than a high-pitched ring.

He should rest.

It was over now.. he could finally close his eyes- unafraid.

Sleep.. he was so tired.

 _"Conrart.."_

He suddenly realized he'd been crying, though he wasn't sure for how long. He missed his mother.. his brothers..

But he was so _glad_ he wasn't going back.

It was suppose to be this way, there was nothing left for him in the capitol and no reason to return.

 _"Conrart.."_

He was safe now- it was all over.

Conrart's shaking fist clenched the necklace Julia the White- the woman who had stolen his heart- had gave to him.

It burned in his hand, as he finally gave in to his exhaustion... at least he would have, if he wasn't roughly slapped across the face and shaken awake.

 **"CONRART!"**

His eyes snapped open as pain awakened in his limbs- making him cry out uncontrollably- fire-! All he saw was fire.

No.. the fires were being extinguished by rain.. _when had it started to rain?_

The stone still burned- almost unbearably- in his grasp.

The fire he'd seen was Yozak Gurrier- or more accurately, his annoyingly bright orange hair- that looked like a fiery halo around the man's head.

He didn't know whether to laugh or cry upon seeing the man- but the choice was made for him as Yozak tried to move him, causing him to scream as tears sprung to his eyes.

He was babbling incoherently at the man- and _fucking_ damn it.

 _Yozak was arguing with him._

Now- of all times.

"Stand up! You're not fucking dying here- you hear me!?" He screamed in Conrart's ear- making his head reel.

"STOP IT! JUST STOP!" He shouted once he found his voice- as Yozak moved to raise him to his feet and Conrart struggled the entire way.

"LET GO OF ME!" He screamed, "DON'T-!"

But Yozak had lifted him to his feet anyway- and Conrad's entire world went almost completely black as he crumpled into his friend's chest, crying out.

Yozak was holding him upright as he stripped armor off of him- his shoulders felt lighter but his body was heavier than ever.

"Comon captain- walk- I need you to walk with me- place your hand here. Press hard..."

He knew he was screaming- but he couldn't hear himself anymore- as Yozak forced him to hold his guts in as they shuffled over heaps of bodies.

Vultures were landing now- picking at exposed flesh as Conrart deliriously glanced around, his legs were barely working.

"You fucking bastard.." he choked out a sob, "You bastard-! I'm not leaving- I should be with them-! I belong here!"

"You don't belong here! You don't deserve to die in a place like this."

"DON'T FUCKING TELL ME WHERE I DESERVE TO DIE!" He became hysterical- his hand clenching the stone was wrapped around Yozak's shoulder- the man was holding his wrist there- so he couldn't escape.

He tried to pull it free anyway.

"DON'T YOU DARE TAKE THAT FROM ME! I'm allowed-!" He gasped for air, "To pick the place I fucking die in, at least give me that you son of a bitch!"

"No." Yozak said, his eyes cold. "Because I promised your mother to bring you back, dead or alive and I'm doing just that."

Conrart had never hated his friend as much as he did in that moment- all he had wanted was to slip into eternity- he had dreamed of the day it would be over and now... this.

Yozak was bringing him back by force.

Well..

He'd soon learn... he could bring a horse to a river- but that didn't mean it would drink.

Yozak couldn't put the will to live back into his body- so with every step and every breath- Conrart fought for his right to die.

In the end- Yozak won.

He always was very good about keeping his promises.

After what felt like an eternity of darkness, Conrart opened his bleary eyes to see the familiar stone ceiling of the medical ward in Blood Pledge Castle.

He had lived.

Upon this realization- all he felt was misery.

* * *

It was the middle of the night- and moonlight shone through one of the tall windows- casting long shadows across the sheets that entangled their bodies.

Yuuri was resting in his arms, Conrart's hand threaded through his king's thick, silken hair.

He'd had a dream- a nightmare- of a time when he'd been out of breath.

It had jolted him awake- but thankfully, his partner remained asleep, his breathes steady and his face relaxed. Such a peaceful sight calmed his wild heart-rate.

Yozak had lead him to the water- but he didn't drink- instead he had sat by that river, thirsty, for years. He thought perhaps he'd die that way- parched for the thirst to live.

Until Yuuri had come along- the boy with dark eyes and a smile so bright it replaced the sun.

He offered Conrad a drink- that he simply couldn't refuse.

The second prince of Shinmakoku had found his will to live again.


End file.
